Stepping Out & Filling the Gaps
This is the first cancer update that I’ve actually written on this site, versus posting the CaringBridge and then copying and pasting it here. So hello! Thanks for stopping by! This is new for me, too.
It feels a little like returning to school after a long break. 😂 Same general place, but maybe the furniture has been rearranged, and there are new faces you don’t recognize. While this looks a little different than “The Bridge”…
Yes, you can still comment if you’d like. 😊
No, there is not an option to simply “like” a post on this website. (Pro’s and Con’s)
You probably won’t get an email when I post updates here. The newsletter is your best bet!
I hope our sweet CB community will still read together here, and even welcome some new friends! Anyway…
Latest News
Last week I had a brain MRI to check on some “suspicious spots” found over the summer. I’m happy to report that the latest pictures show less-defined, smaller spots. Huzzah! For now, the radiation oncologist feels ok calling them “scar tissue” from my brain surgery. We will follow up in a few months to confirm that nothing new pops up and we continue in this direction. 🥳️
I have a PET scan later this week, but won’t have results to share until the following week. It’s such a waiting game! I’ve actually never had a PET scan in my 3 year cancer career, so this will be something new. (Normally a CT + MRI + bone scan = enough pictures!) As far I understand it, my oncologist is looking for activity in my liver tumors, but also hoping that we don’t find new tumors anywhere else in the body. Assuming everything looks ok, there is discussion of potentially reducing the chemo and introducing liver radiation. Eventually, we could just do immunotherapy + radiation. (Pause for shining bubble of hope! Angel choir! Confetti!)
I really cannot describe to you how much I want that to happen. I have been on chemo for a LONG. TIME. My side effects are manageable as long as I follow the routine, but it’s still pretty yucky 4 days of the week.
It’s easy to daydream about what life could be without chemo, but I have to remember that we’re not yet there. Sometime this spring, when I realized I’d to be on this path for a while, I decided not to wait to do things. Go places, see people, pursue dreams. (Hello, website!) It’s challenging, though, when you only have about 3 days a week to make it happen, and not running at full-speed. 😆 Such is life for a metastatic breast cancer thriver! It’s always a balance of doing what you can, planning around what you have, and rolling with the punches.
So this is me, doing what I can 3 days a week! I know I’ll never have the energy, or the hours in a day, to do all the things I want to do. I also know that Jesus continues to give me what I need to tackle what I must, where I am. I know I need to trust Him to fill in all the gaps: clear mind, open heart, etc. I’ve been praying that He show me safe places where I can help others, that I feel brave enough to say “Yes” when opportunities arise, and that I remember that life is happening here. I know there’s plenty to do while chemo is still here. Life is happening now.
How am I stepping out? I’m able to just dip a toe into the “real world” here lately. It’s really exciting!
My weekly newsletter has been so much fun! I’ve been so encouraged by everyone’s sweet words, and hope it’s actually helping others. It’s going well thus far. ♥️ It’s something I purposefully do every week.
I said “Yes” to helping with Sunday School at church! For the past year, I’ve been afraid that my mind and body weren’t ready. This opportunity feels right, and again- I’m trusting Jesus to fill in the gaps! Patience, energy, etc. If He’s calling me to do something, I know He will provide what I need to do it.
I may return to a group of sweet ladies that I used to meet with every month. It’s not too much time, not too often, and it happens on Mondays. Mondays really work for me. 😊
Facials are back! I love a good facial, and as long as I schedule it strategically, I can safely go. It’s something happy and relaxing, and such a treat. I’m thankful for the time and resources to make it happen.
…and that’s plenty! I’m stepping out, bit by bit, and cautiously making a routine outside of the infusion lab. (haha)
Prayer Requests: PET scan experience going well, peace while we wait, and positive reports next week!
Andrew and I will be celebrating every baby step and taste of normalcy we can! Thanks for your love, friends! ♥️
*Want to see how it all started? Previous entries can be found at www.caringbridge.org/visit/caitlan.
